So, what are your deal breakers in dating? You know, those serious issues that you can’t get past or don’t feel you are ready to deal with. Like stepping into a relationship with someone who has kids and you don’t. Not wanting to travel to date someone online, like out of state for example. Maybe the person shows signs of being abusive or they just treat people poorly in general. The things you come across and just know that you can’t go any further in pursuing a relationship.

What about if the person you have met online shops at Wal-Mart? That’s right, Wal-Mart.

Well, I got an email from eHarmony telling me that I had a new match that was requesting communication. So I logged on and read her profile page and saw her picture and started down the guided communication path with her. After a couple of weeks we got to the Open Communication stage.

Seeing that she had initiated the contact that left it my turn to send the first email. So I went back to her profile to reread it before I asked her any questions. When I got there she had added some new information to her profile page that hadn’t been there previously.

Two of the things she said were that if you shop at Wal-Mart or love our President then just close off communication now. Two of her dating deal breakers were people who loved George Bush or shopped at Wal-Mart. I actually laughed out loud. I wouldn’t say I love George Bush but I felt that any leanings towards him, or the conservative side of the political spectrum, would be too much for her. Also I have shopped at Wal-Mart so I am sure that would put me in the shallow end of this woman’s dating pool. I wasn’t sure what to write now, so I put it off a bit.

I was trying to think of what to say, as I didn’t want to close things off with no explanation. I don’t like when that happens to me but all that came to mind was an email that went something like this:

Hi ****,

I just wanted to let you know that I am going to close out communication with you do to your dating deal breakers that I just read. It seems they are new to your profile since we first started communicating. As I sit here typing this message in my I Heart George Bush t-shirt I recently purchased at Wal-Mart, a single tear runs down my face as I thought we might have been good together.

Jason

I never got a chance to send that email because a few days later when I logged back in she had already closed off communication with me. No big loss really as who would want to date someone who felt so strongly about where a potential date shopped. I can think of a lot of possible deal breakers people could have but where they shop or their political leanings don’t really make the list for me.

Take for instance Mary Matalin and James Carville. They are pretty far apart politically but fell in love and have been married for almost 13 years now. They have two daughters and seem happy. So would political differences be a deal breaker for you? How about where someone shops?

What are your dating deal breakers? What would keep you from pursuing a relationship with someone? Let us know in the comments.

What do you think about the gift of online dating for the Christmas Holiday Season? Is this a good idea? I think it can be but take some time and think about whom this might be a good gift option for. You shouldn’t start handing out gift subscriptions for online dating to just anyone. You might want to consider …

… do you know this person well?

If you do and maybe even the topic of trying out an online dating service has come up in conversation then this could be a great gift idea. I would only recommend giving to a really close friend or relative. Otherwise the gift may seem a bit on the personal side. You don’t want to be telling someone that you don’t really know you really need help in this area. Remember that if it is the thought that counts, you don’t want them to get the wrong idea about what you are thinking about them. You need to use a little tact in this area.

Where can you find online dating gift memberships?

Well, many of the large online dating sites offer gift subscriptions or memberships. These allow you to purchase usually a one, three, six or twelve month plan. Remember though that the longer the plan you purchase the worse the gift may come off when received. I would probably choose the three-month option, as it doesn’t seem overly long. It does take a little while to get used to how the process works on a given online dating site, so a one-month subscription may be on the short side.

Perfectmatch offers a link on their front page to buy gift memberships. I have read that Yahoo! Personals was going to be offering a gift program but can’t find any information about it on their site. Other online dating sites also offer gift options. They don’t always seem to be readily apparent. So you may need to look around a bit.

For me though, I would suggest a gift subscription to eHarmony as this is one of the online dating sites I presently use myself. I have yet to “find the love of my life” using it but many have and it could be just the right gift for that person who needs a gentle nudge into the world of online dating. It is easy for someone new to get overwhelmed with a large site like Match.com where you can search through thousands of profiles. At eHarmony you are only able to converse with people the system matches you with. They also have a good-guided communication process to help you get connected with your matches. This makes it an ideal gift for someone new to online dating as well as it being a very well known site.

Give someone the gift that has the potential to keep on giving, the gift of love and companionship. What a great Christmas gift that could be?

Yesterday was a couple of things I don’t like and today is the flipside. Here are a couple of things I do like about Chemistry.com. Once again these are in comparison to my experience using eHarmony. They are very similar in how they work.

1. The amount of matches you get at Chemistry.com is greater than at eHarmony. They use different criteria to create matches so a difference is to be expected. Yet the difference is huge. Chemistry.com has matched me with 62 different women in just over two weeks of being on the site. In the same time frame I have gotten around 10 matches at eHarmony.
2. I like Chemistry.com’s seeming focus on meeting the other person. The site is geared to get to email communication and with that comes the First-Meeting option that you can send to a match. This is a feature that helps you and a match put together a time and place that meets both of your schedules. The idea is a 20 to 30 minute meeting to see if there is any off website chemistry. The system can even help by suggesting places like coffee houses and the like that are equidistant from each you. A scheduling system that also helps pick a spot about halfway between you and your match is a good idea.

Have you been able to try Chemistry.com yet? What do you like about it?

I have been on this online matching site for a couple of weeks now. After this short time here are a couple of things I don’t like. Tomorrow will about a couple of things I do like about Chemistry.com. These things are in comparison to my experience using eHarmony.

1. At first look the communication process being shorter seems like a good idea until you have gone through it and reach the email stage. When you get to this stage at Chemistry.com, I feel like I don’t really know much about the other person. At eHarmony you have a larger amount of info on the initial profile page and more intermediate questions to answer before entering open email communication. This leaves you with less stuff to talk about when starting an email conversation at Chemistry.com than at eHarmony.
2. On the subject of email, that is my second dislike. The email system at Chemistry.com is like an internal Hotmail type system but without the ability to create folders and such. This leaves all you potential partner emails in one big inbox for you to wade through and keep up with. I like the eHarmony system that has an individual inbox for each match making it easy to keep up with who you are conversing with at the moment. It is hard enough to keep up two or more email conversations as it is. This in my opinion only makes it more difficult.

Have you been trying out, Chemisty.com, the new personality matching service from the creators of Match.com? What are the areas that you think need improving? Leave your thoughts in comments below.