As of yesterday I had 4 new matches on eHarmony. As of today 2 have already closed off communication without having done any communicating. The other two seem to be people who have not signed up for the service, as they have not completed their introductory info yet. So nothing will probably come from any of these matches. Yet it makes me wonder, what people are looking for? Why do they close off communication so quickly?

One closed off communication choosing: I have too much happening in my life at the moment as their reason. See previous entry: Closing Off Communication on eHarmony for what I think about using that reason. The other closed off communication using the reason: Based on statements in their profile, I’m not interested in this match. This is the reason I would use for closing off things this early. But, why close off this early is my question?

I attempt to communicate with pretty much every match I get at eHarmony. I am paying good money in an attempt to find someone who might be compatible for the long-term should there be chemistry. This type of dating site lends itself to fewer possibilities than the big sites like Match.com or Yahoo! Personals. So, why would I instantly limit the possibilities even more without attempting to get to know some of these matches? Why do people close off so quickly? I don’t know. If you do, let me know.

So I decided to look at this a little closer. I looked at the close off with the reason of statements in their profile. In her profile she states that she is looking for someone who is honest, has an easygoing personality, is of strong character and has a good sense of humor. I may be biased but I think if you asked my friends, family, coworkers or even acquaintances that these are qualities that they would say I have. Some might even say that I am too easygoing and joke around too much. Like you can joke around too much. Yet none of these, in my opinion, are qualities that you can evaluate very well with just a picture and a few words of text. Maybe the sense of humor can be judged and she didn’t think what I wrote in response to a couple of questions was funny.

Under things that she is thankful for she put: family, friends and health. This is the exact same thing that I have for that answer. Under leisure activities she states being a ‘golf junkie’. My profile states that golf is one of my favorite activities. These were all things that peaked my interest in possibly getting to know her, yet did nothing for her in wanting to get to know me.

The eHarmony site says we could be compatible. We have a few things in common. She didn’t want to communicate, I would have. Still not sure what people are looking for or at least don’t understand the ways in which they go about trying to find it. I thought the purpose of online dating was to use the power of the Internet to meet people that you otherwise would not have ever probably met. Thus raising your chances of meeting a special someone. The key word above being meet, as of now this doesn’t seem to be so much the case. So the journey continues…

On eHarmony when you have decided that you don’t want to communicate or continue conversing with a match, you close off communication. To do this you click the Close Match button at the bottom of a matches profile page. When doing so you can choose from a list of reasons provided by eHarmony. You can choose multiple reasons from the list if you wish.

The reasons you can choose from are:

I think our family backgrounds are too different.
This reason makes good sense if you have been communicating for a while and you feel your families just don’t mesh well or that your lives are too different to go any further.

I have too much happening in my life at the moment.
This one makes little sense to me. Why are you paying to use and online dating service if you have too much going on at the moment. I guess you could have bought a multi-month subscription and life just got busy but that is what the put a match on hold feature is for.

I don’t feel that the chemistry is there.
This reason only makes sense to me if you have actually met the person. A few people have actually closed of communication with me after just reading my introductory info page and then chose this reason. If you are looking for chemistry from a photo and a few words of text, good luck to yah!

I don’t think our Must Haves and Can’t Stands fit.
This is a good reason if your Must Haves and Can’t Stands just don’t mix. If you can’t see yourself fitting in with a lot of these, then closing off communication is probably best for both parties. If though most of them sound ok to you and just a couple don’t, keep communicating and ask for clarification on these later.

I think the physical distance between us is too great.
If you are using this one a lot then you probably ought to narrow your search criteria to a smaller area. Although you never know what one is looking for. I was recently closed off by somebody in a city that shares a borderline with my city with this reason. If this is the case maybe you should widen your search.

I want to pursue other matches at eharmony.
This means I have no interest in you but I am trying to be nice about it. This is the, It’s not you it’s me, reasoning for closing things off.

I am pursuing another relationship.
Again this is what the hold feature is for unless you are really serious about your present relationship. If that is the case though, why haven’t you canceled your eHarmony service and why are you still logging in?

I’m just not ready for the next step.
Why are you on a dating service like eHarmony that is geared for people seeking long-term relationships? There are other online dating services that may be more what you are looking for. If you are just looking for a few dates then try Match.com or Yahoo! Personals, although there are many people using those sites that are looking for long-term companionship also.

I am taking a break from dating.
See, I have too much happening in my life at the moment above.

I would rather not say.
This is as bad as choosing Other, see below.

This match never responded to my request to communicate.
This happens for various reasons including that the person never signed up for eHarmony. After some time has passed and you have received no response, you should close things off. Free up you list of matches. Give it a decent amount of time though, not everyone gets online daily or multiple times a day as you might.

I think the difference in age between us is too great.
This is another reason that makes no sense to me. You can choose an age range for your prospective matches. So, if this is the case maybe you should change your settings. The minimum age range is 6 years. Choose any 6-year range you like, only those that fall into that range will be matched with you if you fall into theirs.

I think the difference in our values is too great.
This again is a good reason. Similar to: I think our family backgrounds are too different above. If after communicating for a while you realize that you are just too different values wise then closing off the match is a prudent thing to do.

Based on statements in their profile, I’m not interested in this match.
This is the only reason I can see using if you don’t want to communicate at all with a match. It is possible that statements in their profile are just not right. I have seen a few of these in my time on eHarmony. When you finish reading their introductory info and all that comes to mind is run, run as fast as you can. Maybe you should use your instinct and close the match down.

Because there are no photos posted/I couldn’t see any photos.
I understand this reason but I don’t really get it. I have a couple of photos up. So I have never been closed off for this reason, maybe just the opposite. If no photos are your reasoning for closing off a match, you might want to consider a few things. Some people just don’t know how to get a photo uploaded to the service and don’t take the time to mail one in. Others are just leery of putting their face online for all to see. If you take the time to communicate with them a little you could probably get them to change their mind. How many good-looking and attractive people do you know that don’t think they are. Or don’t think they look good in pictures. Or are just a little shy. These are all possibilities you may want to find out about before clicking that close button. You can close off at anytime. Why do it so early?

Because I was put on Hold.
If you have been put on Hold and some time has passed with out the hold being changed back, then closing things off is fine.

Other
This is perhaps the unkindest reason that you could possibly choose. In the rare case that none of the other reasons fit then ok. But how often is that the case? I have had this one used on me before any communication has taken place. Seems in that case that: Based on statements in their profile, I’m not interested in this match would be a better choice.

Because we are communicating outside of eHarmony
This is the best reason of all to close out communication within the eHarmony system because hopefully you have actually met someone and things have moved beyond anonymous emailing.

These are the reasons that you can choose to close off communication in the eHarmony system. Some of them make sense. Others don’t. Some only work in certain situations. Don’t be in such a hurry to close things off. Especially on a service like eHarmony that only matches you with people that are compatible with you.

I love to play golf. So when the idea of niche dating sites came to mind, my first thought was, I wonder if there are any golf related online dating sites? Turns out there are. GolfMates was the first one I found.

According to the site there are five reasons why golf is the perfect first date:

1. It is one of the few sports men and women can truly enjoy together.
2. It is a safe, daytime, outdoor activity that is usually played in groups of four.
3. There is plenty of time to socialize between shots.
4. It comes to an end after 9 or 18 holes. If you are compatible with your golfmate, the clubhouse is a perfect place to continue the date. If you are not compatible with your golfmate, the end of a round is a comfortable way to end the date.
5. Common interest in golf. Having a common interest with a prospective mate greatly reduces the pressure of having to create conversation.

GolfMates was launched officially on May 5, 2004. The people behind GolfMates want golf to be considered as an enjoyable dating activity. As of now posting your profile on the site is free.

While the site has birdie potential, it is presently over par. This however could be remedied with more golfers finding out about the site, so hopefully this helps in some small way. There were only 21 female golfers of all ages in my state. With the limited selection of golfers on the site, maybe you won’t find the love of your life but you may find some potential playing partners in your area. Although back on Dec. 31, 2004 a couple that met on GolfMates got married. So you never know.

I spent the last few days sprucing up the old eHarmony introductory info page. I decided that I needed to change things up a bit. Keep it fresh. Give it a little more personality. So I went through each of the questions and tried to liven my answers up a bit. When I came to the question:

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?

I spent some time thinking about it. After careful consideration and reflection I opened up my word processor and began to write. The following is what I ended up with:

Even though we’ll start out as Perfect Strangers we’ll become Friends first, not Bosom Buddies, and then see what will Blossom. We’ll take it Step by Step and One Day at a Time. Initially being The Odd Couple falling in Love, American Style but then The Honeymooners and ultimately Married… with Children.

The woman at the Head of the Class would have strong Family Ties because I’m a Family Guy. The Facts of Life are that Family Matters. Also, she would have a strong Will & Grace Under Fire to handle life’s little Growing Pains no matter What’s Happening!! Someone who won’t Curb Your Enthusiasm by being The Critic but will keep me inline when I try to Get Smart because we both know Who’s the Boss? Although she’ll know when she’s Too Close for Comfort and will Gimme a Break. A woman who dreams of having a Full House of Cheers, Good Times and Happy Days to live out The Wonder Years would be the right girl for me.

If you’re That Girl then I could be Mad About You.

I went back later and reread it and something struck me. Maybe I should not just be writing about my online dating thoughts and experiences. I should also be writing about TV. So I created my new weblog: TVaholic.com.

Two down and probably more to come, if you’ve read the About Jason page then you know I also like golf. Could the GolfReviewer weblog be far behind? Well for now I think I will stick with the eWooing online dating site and the TVaholic site. Stay tuned as new ideas come to fruition.

At any rate I think my online dating profile info at eHarmony is better. I guess that I could have just answered: I am looking for someone with a sense of humor who likes TV. But, what fun would that have been? Anyways, we’ll see?

If you have been dating online for a while now. Make sure you mix things up. Keep it real, but keep it new and exciting.