Musings, tips and the occasional rant from the world of online dating.
So, what are your deal breakers in dating? You know, those serious issues that you can’t get past or don’t feel you are ready to deal with. Like stepping into a relationship with someone who has kids and you don’t. Not wanting to travel to date someone online, like out of state for example. Maybe the person shows signs of being abusive or they just treat people poorly in general. The things you come across and just know that you can’t go any further in pursuing a relationship.
What about if the person you have met online shops at Wal-Mart? That’s right, Wal-Mart.
Well, I got an email from eHarmony telling me that I had a new match that was requesting communication. So I logged on and read her profile page and saw her picture and started down the guided communication path with her. After a couple of weeks we got to the Open Communication stage.
Seeing that she had initiated the contact that left it my turn to send the first email. So I went back to her profile to reread it before I asked her any questions. When I got there she had added some new information to her profile page that hadn’t been there previously.
Two of the things she said were that if you shop at Wal-Mart or love our President then just close off communication now. Two of her dating deal breakers were people who loved George Bush or shopped at Wal-Mart. I actually laughed out loud. I wouldn’t say I love George Bush but I felt that any leanings towards him, or the conservative side of the political spectrum, would be too much for her. Also I have shopped at Wal-Mart so I am sure that would put me in the shallow end of this woman’s dating pool. I wasn’t sure what to write now, so I put it off a bit.
I was trying to think of what to say, as I didn’t want to close things off with no explanation. I don’t like when that happens to me but all that came to mind was an email that went something like this:
I just wanted to let you know that I am going to close out communication with you do to your dating deal breakers that I just read. It seems they are new to your profile since we first started communicating. As I sit here typing this message in my I Heart George Bush t-shirt I recently purchased at Wal-Mart, a single tear runs down my face as I thought we might have been good together.
I never got a chance to send that email because a few days later when I logged back in she had already closed off communication with me. No big loss really as who would want to date someone who felt so strongly about where a potential date shopped. I can think of a lot of possible deal breakers people could have but where they shop or their political leanings don’t really make the list for me.
Take for instance Mary Matalin and James Carville. They are pretty far apart politically but fell in love and have been married for almost 13 years now. They have two daughters and seem happy. So would political differences be a deal breaker for you? How about where someone shops?
What are your dating deal breakers? What would keep you from pursuing a relationship with someone? Let us know in the comments.
A year ago today I Googled myself for the first time. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. I had read an article about how online daters search Google for information on potential dates before meeting them. So with that in mind I wanted to know if I met a woman via online dating here in Seattle and they did this, what would they find?
Back then the only thing that was related to me on the first page of results was an article that points to my golf site. Today when I typed jason griffin into Google and hit the search button I found the results have changed a bit. The golf article has been pushed to the bottom of the results on page two.
But, now my previous post, Jason Griffin Googles Himself, is the second result of about 8,340,000 possible. That is more what I was looking for as I wanted to crack the top ten with something that would provide a potential date some info about me.
So, how have things changed? Here is what I found on the first page of results when searching Google for jason griffin today:
As for the second page of results you will find the aforementioned golf article, a link to my site TVaholic and the printable version of Jason Griffin Googles Himself. As of today I have seven links in the top 30 when a search for jason griffin is done at Google. That is not to bad. I wonder if this page will rank for jason griffin someday at Google too. Hopefully it will bump result number 10 of the first page.
On the last post I heard from a Jason Griffin in Macon, GA, one in New Zealand and another in Texas who left word in the comments. I guess I am not the only Jason Griffin Googling himself. Have you searched for yourself in Google? Looked up a potential date? What did you find?
I can’t believe that I posted the first post on this online dating site a year ago. I started by signing up for eHarmony two years ago now. After a year and a few dates I thought this might make an interesting topic for a blog. So I registered the domain name and started on my way.
This was my first blog. It started off pretty well. I think I posted like 40 days in a row or something. I came up with a few ideas like writing about all niche-dating sites that were popping up all over and adding a little commentary to the weekly news in the world of online dating. Since I have started two others: TVaholic and The Brown Chronicles.
Total Posts: 87 including this one.
Total Comments: 22
Three Most Viewed Posts:
My Three Favorite Posts:
Are there any topics in the world of online dating that you would like more information about? Let me know in the comments and maybe I will add it the eWooing to do list. Here’s to another year, hopefully big and better than the one before.
Below are a few online dating articles for your perusal. We can all use a little help in our search for the special someone. These articles will hopefully help you do just that. With tips, suggestions and commentary from the world of online dating. Enjoy!
PROS BOOST ONLINE DATING
This article about the rise of professional profile helpers for online daters, such as profile writing and picture taking. A few tips can be gleaned from the article or you can just scroll to the bottom for a recap of them. Like what types of words: no games, no cheaters etc. can be red flags to readers of your profile who will think that you have been hurt and have yet to get over it. Sites mentioned in the article are:
Twice Bitten, Twice Why?
This is a funny little story. This seems to take place a lot. I have had it happen to me. It is even weirder when they contact you first as in this case and when you reply they are never heard of again. This is strange behavior indeed. Have you had this happen to you?
Lessons of online dating scene
An amusing read with a few tips thrown in leaving with a little hope in the end.
When tall and handsome turns out short and pudgy
In my view online dating is a lot like offline dating, if people are dishonest in general they are going to continue to be dishonest online. What do you think of all the talk of government regulation of online dating? Should full-fledged background checks be standard? Should there be some small oversight? Should they just stay away completely? I would say closer to the later in my opinion would be good. What do you think?
Write up on the book Why You’re Still Single. A guide co-written by a male and a female so you can get both perspectives on the answer. Other books mentioned in the article are:
Leave your thoughts on the above online dating articles in the comments.
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