Musings, tips and the occasional rant from the world of online dating.
Ladies and gentlemen, make sure you look your very best before posting those pictures to the online dating site you’ve chosen to use. You may have the best written profile, so you don’t want to take away from it by posting some funky looking pictures of yourself. Lose the evil red eye and that selfie in the bathroom mirror; it’s not exactly presenting you in the best light. You want to put your best look forward.
We should be using technology the best way we can to help us find that special someone. Online dating allows you to easily get to know people and share your story and hopefully meet someone and have things develop into a long-term relationship. Remember a picture is worth a thousand words, so what do you want your pictures to say.
Online dating can be a blessing for introverts that have never been very good at approaching people, especially someone you find attractive. The Internet gives everyone a chance to share their feelings with another person and get to know them at their own pace. And, when you feel comfortable, you meet them in person. Maybe you move things to the phone first, but meeting becomes easier after chatting online a bit, as it no longer feels you are meeting a stranger. This is another reason you need a good picture, so you can easily recognize them when you arrive.
No matter what online dating site you choose, you want to present your best self. You are going to have the chance to meet all kinds of people. Not all of them will be there for the same reasons you are, but you should be able to relatively easily find people that are seeking the same things you are. Pay attention to what you think of the profiles you view and make sure you aren’t doing any of the things that put you off in your own profile.
Don’t be scared of online dating. Yes, some people may not be honest in their profiles and uses fake pictures of themselves. But, they aren’t really all that different to the problems of traditional dating. People can be dishonest when you meet them in person. Online dating may be even more secure than traditional. You can keep your personal information, like where you work or live, etc., to yourself until you feel comfortable sharing them, which can be long after you’ve met the person a few times. Be smart and use the benefits of online dating to your advantage and get yourself out there.
Finding the right person to date has never been a simple task. Yet, no matter how hard you try there is always a feeling that there is someone out there just for you, but you just can’t seem to them. Finding your better half consumes lots and lots of time and energy. Well, when entering the world of online dating, you no longer have to search via your friends and acquaintances or hit the bar scene. Just log on to an online dating site and you are ready to go to find that special someone.
It can be a weird thing to put your desires and expectations into meeting someone online. Yet, there are many benefits to this pursuit.
Anonymity is the first and foremost benefit that online dating provides you. You can hide your personal information etc. This provides you a freedom to attempt to get to know many different people while still feeling safe and secure. You can choose to be anonymous for as long as you want until you build some level of trust. If something feels off, you can just block them.
This type of security also allows you to set the when and where you finally meet someone in person. This takes much of the fear of meeting someone new. Just logging onto the right dating site can provide you access to lots of great people you would probably have never met otherwise.
So, what are your deal breakers in dating? You know, those serious issues that you can’t get past or don’t feel you are ready to deal with. Like stepping into a relationship with someone who has kids and you don’t. Not wanting to travel to date someone online, like out of state for example. Maybe the person shows signs of being abusive or they just treat people poorly in general. The things you come across and just know that you can’t go any further in pursuing a relationship.
What about if the person you have met online shops at Wal-Mart? That’s right, Wal-Mart.
Well, I got an email from eHarmony telling me that I had a new match that was requesting communication. So I logged on and read her profile page and saw her picture and started down the guided communication path with her. After a couple of weeks we got to the Open Communication stage.
Seeing that she had initiated the contact that left it my turn to send the first email. So I went back to her profile to reread it before I asked her any questions. When I got there she had added some new information to her profile page that hadn’t been there previously.
Two of the things she said were that if you shop at Wal-Mart or love our President then just close off communication now. Two of her dating deal breakers were people who loved George Bush or shopped at Wal-Mart. I actually laughed out loud. I wouldn’t say I love George Bush but I felt that any leanings towards him, or the conservative side of the political spectrum, would be too much for her. Also I have shopped at Wal-Mart so I am sure that would put me in the shallow end of this woman’s dating pool. I wasn’t sure what to write now, so I put it off a bit.
I was trying to think of what to say, as I didn’t want to close things off with no explanation. I don’t like when that happens to me but all that came to mind was an email that went something like this:
I just wanted to let you know that I am going to close out communication with you do to your dating deal breakers that I just read. It seems they are new to your profile since we first started communicating. As I sit here typing this message in my I Heart George Bush t-shirt I recently purchased at Wal-Mart, a single tear runs down my face as I thought we might have been good together.
I never got a chance to send that email because a few days later when I logged back in she had already closed off communication with me. No big loss really as who would want to date someone who felt so strongly about where a potential date shopped. I can think of a lot of possible deal breakers people could have but where they shop or their political leanings don’t really make the list for me.
Take for instance Mary Matalin and James Carville. They are pretty far apart politically but fell in love and have been married for almost 13 years now. They have two daughters and seem happy. So would political differences be a deal breaker for you? How about where someone shops?
What are your dating deal breakers? What would keep you from pursuing a relationship with someone? Let us know in the comments.
A year ago today I Googled myself for the first time. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. I had read an article about how online daters search Google for information on potential dates before meeting them. So with that in mind I wanted to know if I met a woman via online dating here in Seattle and they did this, what would they find?
Back then the only thing that was related to me on the first page of results was an article that points to my golf site. Today when I typed jason griffin into Google and hit the search button I found the results have changed a bit. The golf article has been pushed to the bottom of the results on page two.
But, now my previous post, Jason Griffin Googles Himself, is the second result of about 8,340,000 possible. That is more what I was looking for as I wanted to crack the top ten with something that would provide a potential date some info about me.
So, how have things changed? Here is what I found on the first page of results when searching Google for jason griffin today:
As for the second page of results you will find the aforementioned golf article, a link to my site TVaholic and the printable version of Jason Griffin Googles Himself. As of today I have seven links in the top 30 when a search for jason griffin is done at Google. That is not to bad. I wonder if this page will rank for jason griffin someday at Google too. Hopefully it will bump result number 10 of the first page.
On the last post I heard from a Jason Griffin in Macon, GA, one in New Zealand and another in Texas who left word in the comments. I guess I am not the only Jason Griffin Googling himself. Have you searched for yourself in Google? Looked up a potential date? What did you find?
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